It’s well known among 2 “doctors” that I am obese.
Honestly I think they are jealous of my ba-dunk-a-dunk.
In either case, I decided to join a weight loss clinic. Part of my weight loss regimen includes these really awesome diet pills, which are basically legal speed, and fat burner injections.
I have been taking these pills for a month now. I have more energy, less hunger, and better organizational skillz.
I, up until now, have been hesitant to try the injections.
Well, I let my balls drop, so to speak, and stuck a ridiculously long needle into my designated “fat area”.
At first there was nothing but a little spot of blood at the injection site.
About 2 minutes later I noticed a bit of pain at the location around the injection.
About 2 minutes after that my hearing got a bit wonky. The best way I can describe it is like being in a wind tunnel.
So, at that point, I started to get a bit concerned.
I thought to myself ( Well, let’s be honest here. I said it out loud because I talk to myself all the time.)
I said, “Welp, we have reached the point of no return. How bad can this really get?”.
Really?! How bad?!
Don’t ever ask yourself that question because that is an open invitation for things to get worse.
About 30 minutes later my vision got a bit blurry. It was kinda like wearing a pair of older prescription glasses.
I cleaned my glasses thinking that might help.
Nope.
So, being the optimist that I am, I put my contacts in thinking that would change the vision issue.
Nope.
It was about 10 minutes after that that my back and legs started to cramp, and when I say cramp I mean severe spasms.
At this point I am saying, “Oh, shit!”.
Just a little side note; I am actually writing this as it is happening. You all are experiencing this with me in real time. I realize I was using past tense but that was only as to not scare you. Well, I’m a bit scared so I want you to be scared too, cuz ya know, misery loves company.
Right now I am noticing a strange and rather unpleasant taste in my mouth. Kinda like not brushing your teeth for a few days mixed with eating cabbage.
Maybe I should look that up.
Apparently the question of, Why does my mouth taste like cabbage, has been asked before.
What I have learned thus far on it is that I either have halitosis or my liver is shutting down. ( I don’t think I am experiencing either).
I did learn that it is basically a chemical reaction of methanethiol being converted into gas which can take place in diabetic weight loss.
I am not diabetic but the weight loss thing applies.
Phew, feeling better already! Thank you Google for your vast array of knowledge.
I am noticing a bit of a tightening in my throat. This may be because of anxiety. It started around the time of my, “Oh, shit!” moment, and lord knows I’z gots copious amounts of anxiety.
Perhaps more coffee and a cigarette would help? (Don’t judge me!)
I’m going to take a break from writing for a moment as my roommate has just awoken and I feel the need to make her coffee…
I have returned.
Yesterday, in my blog, “My Day”, I wrote a huge paragraph about coffee, but much to my disappointment it was deleted. I’m guessing because I used the phrase “Starshmucks” and added a link to my favorite coffee’s website.
I’m not going to add the link this time, but I am going to tell you to try Barnies Coffee’s; Cool Cafe Blues.
So, back to my current hell.
The spasm has turned to stiffness. I am walking around like the tin man.
Needless to say, but I’m going to say it anyways, today is going to be interesting.
Would I do it again? That all depends on if the fat in my stomach shrinks. If it does, then yes. Because after all, I am a masochist.
Just A Girl In A Whirl 